Trick Or Treat

Surrealism and Halloween. On the right is a picture of British "supermodel" Naomi Campbell and Venezuelan Socialist (and/or Populist) President Hugo Chavez. She had a "private meeting" with Chavez, as have many other celebrities; Danny Glover, Kevin Spacey, Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn, to name a few. I'm not sure what is going on in these meetings. I know Harry Belafonte is a radical Lefty, as is Danny Glover. Methinks Spacey is, as well, but I'm not sure why I think that, except his previous inclination towards playing theatre roles written by Lefty playwrights. Then again, aren't most artists, especially writers, usually Lefties, if they're political?

It's Halloween, my favorite holiday, at least in the abstract. It's kind of lame when it lands in the middle of the week, but what can you do. Nothin'. Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday, to the extent that I dislike any holiday. It's a forced dinner obligation with your family...what's to like? Every year I try in vain to duck out of the forced merriment. And there is something about that Macy's parade that really freaks me out. Yes, the giant balloons and floats and whatnot are bad enough, but what really has me clamoring for the exit is how it's all about consumerism. It's a big fucking parade celebrating consumption; a cavalcade of popular products. It's almost like they're making fun of us. Oh, you like cream corn? Here's a 200 foot tall dancing balloon that looks like a can of cream corn. Yay! U..S...A! U...S...A!

Halloween is great for corporate America, too. In fact, Halloween is second only to Christmas in the amount of business it stirs up. But I can't dislike a holiday that has kids dressing up like pirates, serial killers and superheroes and knocking on random doors in search of candy. And the threat, too, is unique. No other holiday has a threat like, "Trick or treat!" Give us candy or we will do something unpleasant to you, or more likely your house or car.

And the aesthetics of it appeal. Foliage and crisp, Autumn air, with the smell of leaves. And the whole nature, Wicca riff is profoundly enjoyable. Plus candy. I was just at Walgreen's getting some drugs and noticed that they already have the Christmas trees up, along side the plastic Jack o' lanterns. Christmas is encroaching on my holiday. This represents a war on Halloween. I'm upset.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm joining a posse and we're going after the wolf-man.

Planet Earth Right Now

They got Kurds on the border in Turkey, and Turks shooting Kurds in Kurdistan. Meanwhile, a newborn, flightless bird gathers its strength on the Galapagos Island of Isabella; perhaps a blue-footed boobie. That little bird doesn't know about the severely constipated 14 year old girl in Hobard, Tasmania, or the fictional border dispute on Ansion. In West Kensington, London, Sue and Jean-Pierre Benoit are on the down slope and nearing the end of a 14 year marriage; they've decided on a trial separation. About two miles off the coast of Manteo, North Carolina, a spotted eagle ray is struggling with a plastic bag wrapped around its head; it will lose strength and be dead before the end of the day. In Japan, a single mother and freelance photographer saw her 13 year old son put his hand on his girlfriends inner thigh at a school function. She sighed deeply and decided she had to have a talk with him about sex. She felt uneasy about it.

As for me, I'm sitting in the living room of my girlfriend's house in Framingham, Massachusetts, sipping coffee.

Of Russian Serial Killers and Cramming

On Linda's new blog, NobleNonsense, a tale of my fat ass versus a new love seat (the love seat lost) was recently related. It's all true, and run-ins with furniture frequently happen to large people like myself. On a positive note, to the extent that any of my stories end on one, I'm extremely soft and pliable (that's right, ladies) so I can literally cram myself into even a Fenway Park seat. I cram, I crumple, I crease, I do fine. And it's also true that we contemplated what it would be like if our bloated, rotting corpses were pulled from the "wreckage" by local firefighters, and how a grisly photograph would be circulated on the Internet.

It wouldn't be any worse than my no-pants dance video, which just topped the 1,000 views mark.

In other news, Apocalypse Cow, who maintains a blog that is another Friend of the House of Four Cats, took a political quiz and was discovered to be a liberal. I took the quiz years ago, at the Socialist Scholars' Conference in New York City. The Libertarian Party set up a table there, and gave people the "Shortest Political Quiz In The World." I imagine that they were invited out of 3rd Party solidarity. I forget what I scored at the time, but today when I took the quiz I scored 100. The questions are worded a little differently to keep up with the times, but it's the same thing. My score means that I'm once again crammed somewhere, this time on the far, far left that the quiz-makers had in mind. I'm not surprised, except at the predictability of how I did. Surprised at predictability...isn't that witty?

I'm sad to learn, again, of Ron Paul's growing poll numbers. Mainly because I really think that most of his even most adamant supporters don't have a clue of what he stands for, beyond eliminating gun control and the 16th Amendment (which allows the income tax). But maybe they do know. I don't exactly have my finger on the pulse of the nation. The Wikipedia article on Paul is replete with effusive, loving commentary like, "Paul's opposition to the Federal Reserve is supported by the Austrian Business Cycle Theory..." and "His warnings of impending economic crisis...were derided by many economists, however events in 2007 seem to vindicate his positions." The latter has a "reference needed" citation.

I've grown to really dislike Wikipedia and the "experiment" of relying on rubes to provide encyclopedia entries.

In other news, Alexander Pichushkin, a Russian serial killer, was just convicted of killing 48 people. He claims that he killed 63, and that he was going for 64, one for every square on a chess board. You can read about it here. Since he preyed primarily, if not exclusively, on homeless people, he probably did kill 63 people, but they only found 48. They even discovered a chess board in his home that had 63 places blacked-out in pen, or something like that. He lured his victims to a park via vodka (what else, it's Russia) and a promise that they were going to bury Pichushkin's dog. A sort of dog-funeral bender. I could easily see myself getting duped by this ploy, although not with vodka. Maybe weed or Vicodin. And at the same time it's likely that I'll end my life as a homeless person, so I really feel for his victims. Killing people to fill a chess board is cool, if it were a novel. But a dog-funeral with booze sounds a lot more interesting and enjoyable, as a novel or real-life anecdote.

Regarding Apocalypse Cow's Comment

Funding a national health care system is easy, surprisingly. A for-profit health care system is insanely wasteful, in the sense that it seeks to provide coverage as well as draw a profit. If you run it as a non-profit corporation (like German "sickness funds"), you get so much more for your money.

Our private health care system is very poorly run, at great waste. Through Social Security Medicare Part D, and state programs like MassHealth, the disabled and low income are skimmed off and covered by the government. Even with by far the costliest people taken by those programs, private for-profit insurers still struggle.

And that doesn't in any way include the 47 million Americans at any given time who don't pay into any system at all, but use costly emergency room visits for things better handled by a personal physician. Taxpayers pick-up that tab.

For those reasons, and many others, we are the only industrialized nation in the world without a universal health care plan. So I think the Socialist Party platform regarding health care coverage reform is dead accurate. And that approach can be used for all types of insurance. So taxes wouldn't have to be increased, except to the extent that people would be paying into a public system instead of a private corporation. If you spend $500 a month on health coverage at work, or through the Small Business Association, or wherever, and you no longer pay that, but instead pay $400 to a public, universal system via taxes, is that a tax increase? I suppose so, but overall you are paying less for health care.

Radically expanded public housing is equally possible for the same reason. For example, I live in public housing and I pay a percentage of my income for rent. If I make more, I pay more. And public and "rent control" housing further makes it possible for working class people to live within 100 miles of where they actually work.

The "guaranteed job" portion of the sentence you quoted is tricky, but founded in the logical notion that if someone is willing and able to work, he or she shouldn't be out of work. That said, this is an extremely complex topic, approached differently by social democrats and democratic socialists.

Naturally, I think there are flaws in the platform...nothing is perfect. I will defend it to the extent that I support it, which is more than any other party's platform. Ron Paul (who is meeting with some success) will hopefully morph into a 3rd party candidate and suck votes away from the Republican in greater measure than we, or any other left-wing 3rd party, will siphon votes from the Democrat in the next presidential election. I mention him because I read his platform a few nights ago and it makes our platform look easily executed. Not to mention the bizarre irony of a former Libertarian Party candidate running on an anti-abortion rights platform. The SP has had a good history, at least in Massachusetts, of working with the Libertarian Party in an effort to make it easier for 3rd, 4th, etc. party candidates to get on the ballot. I just don't understand why one of the most appealing aspects of the LP, which is it's strong stance of civil liberties (instead of just eliminating cabinet departments and the 16th Amendment), has been abandoned by the strongest libertarian candidate ever. Unless he is so successful in the margins because of support from mainstream Conservatives, who are unhappy with the Republican slate because they are not Conservative enough.

Yikes. But that's the way the wind is blowing, to the Radical Right. So at a time when that is happening, it's perfectly understandable that the SP platform would look off the charts Leftie. Keep in mind that the change we are advocating is anti-capitalist, and there is a lot more there than tax the rich and create social programs, although that is part of it.

Moore-Alexander for President/Vice President

SOCIALIST PARTY NOMINATES MOORE FOR PRESIDENT

Antiwar Activist Nominated on Third Ballot at Party's National Convention in St. Louis

ST. LOUIS — Antiwar activist Brian P. Moore of Spring Hill, Florida, was nominated for President of the United States at the Socialist Party USA national convention in St. Louis late Saturday afternoon. The 64-year-old Moore, a former independent candidate for the U.S. Senate, defeated longtime party activist and author Eric Chester of Massachusetts, a retired economics professor, on the convention's third ballot to win the party's nomination. Stewart A. Alexander, a longtime civil rights activist from Murietta, California, was tapped as Moore's vice-presidential running mate. Alexander was the Peace & Freedom Party's candidate for lieutenant governor of California in 2006.

A graduate of Mission San Luis Rey College in California with a Master's degree in Public Administration from Arizona State University, Moore once studied in a Franciscan seminary before joining the Peace Corps in 1969. As a Peace Corps volunteer and later working for a non-profit agency, Moore was heavily involved in community development and infrastructure projects in some of the poorest neighborhoods of Bolivia, Panama and Peru. Conversant in Spanish and familiar with Brazilian Portuguese, he later helped design and implement several public health projects in other Latin American countries. He also raised $3 million for a de-worming project that successfully protected more than one million children from parasitic infections in some of the most poverty-stricken areas of Brazil, Guatemala and the Dominican Republic.

No stranger to long-shot political campaigns, Moore waged several unsuccessful bids for mayor and city council in Washington, D.C., and twice ran for the U.S. House of Representatives from Florida's fifth congressional district. Last year, he polled 19,695 votes as independent antiwar candidate against Sen. Bill Nelson and Republican challenger Katherine Harris. During that campaign, he called for the impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Cheney and traveled to Cuba to underscore his opposition to the four decades-long U.S. embargo against that island nation and to learn more about that country's national health care system and its economic development programs.

A founder and chair of the Nature Coast Coalition for Peace & Justice, an antiwar group founded in 2002, Moore has been a persistent critic of U.S. military involvement in Iraq. In accepting the Socialist Party's nomination, the Florida gadfly said that he will make the immediate and total withdrawal of all U.S. troops from Iraq and Afghanistan and opposition to a potential attack on Iran central themes of his campaign. "Stopping the war is our highest priority," he said. "More than a million Iraqis, including tens of thousands of innocent men, women and children, have died in this tragic and misguided debacle, not to mention more than 3,800 of our own men and women — and for no legitimate reason," added Moore.

The Socialist nominee also favors public-financing of elections to lessen the effects of corporate influence in American politics and to help usher in a multi-party system. Citing a recent report by the Wall Street Journal, Moore stressed that he will also focus on the widening gap between the rich and the poor in the United States, a disparity greater than at any time since the 1920s. "The wealthy have benefited tremendously from the recent boom in the financial markets, while the working poor in this country are struggling more than ever just to make ends meet," said Moore, whose party's economic program includes guaranteed jobs, housing, and health care for every American.

Moore is also seeking the California-based Peace & Freedom Party's nomination and will compete against longtime consumer advocate Ralph Nader — a man who endorsed Moore's Senate campaign last year — and several others in the party's February 5 presidential primary.

http://www.votebrianmoore.com

Honkin' The Wizard

I always knew Albus Dumbledore was a pillow-biter.

Love, New England And A Goat With A Dress

I really love my girlfriend, but experience has taught me to constantly be on guard for the words, "We need to talk..." I'm not an easy fellow with whom to be in love. I'm inclined towards self-destruction, and can annoy the piss out of those close to me by insisting on a regular basis that I'm not worth the time and effort. And that is boring. I know boring when I hear it, and depression and self-loathing is tedious. If you were a little birdy perched on my shoulder, methinks that you would give me some credit for seriously cutting back on some of the more wearying aspects of my personality in this regard. Still, I have a ways to go.

After the last time I fell in love, like many other people I promised myself not to do that again. But my actions betrayed my desire to take a lover, and a partner. I found solace in a couple of "one night stands" and the close friendships I share, mostly with women. The goal here was to embrace intimacy and friendship, and fuck as much as possible. But I'm not aloof by nature (that's what they call an understatement) and I found a woman that I connect with deeply and profoundly. Trust was gained, and eventually we fell in love. So here I am again, at the mercy of another human being. It was either that, or nail my doors and windows shut and communicate with the world exclusively via a Compaq Presario. So I dated and often found myself in loveless relationships that had a lot of awkward moments which were only bearable because of base sexual "fulfillment."

The world has her fair share of people who speak highly of sex without love, and I'm kind of one of them. But I'm also an romantic, and I absolutely have to be at least friends with the person with whom I'm having sex, otherwise I instantly develop a deep, nauseating sense of loneliness after getting off; the infamous male desire to flee the scene of a casual fuck. So while I'm a fellow-traveler with liberated people who screw for fun, I have to admit that it's just not for me as a way of life. With that in mind, over a year ago I placed a bunch of personal advertisements, and tried hitting on a couple of female friends. In time, I found a truly wonderful woman, my girlfriend, the woman I love.

That brings me to where I am now. As in love as I've ever been, with a woman who is compassionate and intelligent and demure, and a damn good writer. At some point, I learned the lesson that fear of losing someone is the price you pay for loving someone. Another trite observation, but meaningful to me considering how adamant I was just a few years ago about not falling in love ever again. We all have stories like that, or most of us do. But you're reading about mine because this is my 'blog.

The picture on the right (pending) was taken at a Republican presidential candidate debate in New Hampshire, and represents the finest the GOP has to offer. A visual approximation, if you will, of how fucking insane are Republicans.

Well, I lied. The picture was taken by Linda at the Fryeburg Faire in Maine. If you're one of my friends from abroad and don't know what Maine is, it's an East coast state on the Canadian border known for lobster, misanthropic Yankees ("You can't get there from here."), insane hermits and pristine ocean beaches with water that is way too cold for swimming. Way too cold for anything, actually. The next time you think of a clown walking a dress-wearing goat, think of Maine. The Southern portion of that state has myriad colleges of high-repute, culture and a left-of-center political disposition. The Northern portion of Maine, however, is a vast wasteland of gun-toting maniacs who will kill a man on sight to protect the only two things of value up there; blueberries and potatoes. Think of the movie Deliverance with three feet of snow 8 months a year. Politically, they are right-wing whackos, but nowhere near as bad as South Carolina, South Dakota, or Texas. I also happen to know that people from Massachusetts are known as MassHoles up there, and that for the most part it's a well-deserved slur.

Just for the record, Maine is a cosmopolitan delight, a veritable Utopia, compared to it's neighbor New Hampshire. While it is a state of great natural beauty (bucolic and quaint with a sea coast on one side and mountains on the other), New Hampshire has absolutely nothing to offer the civilized world. It is home to a hare-brained group of big "L" Libertarians from around the country who moved there to turn the Libertarian Party into a politically viable entity in at least one state; so far, that hasn't worked. Cow Hampshire, as it is know in Boston, also has something called The Old Man In The Mountain, a rock formation that vaguely looks like a profile of Jared from the Subway commercials. They're so proud of that fucking thing, it's amazing. It's on the license plate and recently issued commemorative quarter. New Hampshire also reminds me of that song from Sesame Street, One Of These Things Is Doing It's Own Thing. It sits between Massachusetts, Southern Maine and Vermont. As I mentioned earlier, Southern Maine is slightly liberal, but Massachusetts is full of Commies. People in the midwest aren't even sure if it's part of the United States. It's the only commonwealth or state in our fair republic that has embraced gay marriage.

Again, for my friends in Europe, Massachusetts is like a sexually repressed Sweden; it's social democratic, freezing cold, and the people here speak with an almost indecipherable accent. We like to pretend that we have more political influence than we actually have, and one way we do that is by running at least one doomed presidential candidate every four years. People here are also less blond and a little fatter than Swedes. The rest of the country hates our guts. A source of pride for a Pinko like me.

There is only one state that is farther left on the political spectrum and that's Vermont. They actually have a socialist Senator, Bernie Sanders. They also have the most towns of any state that have voted to impeach Bush. Vermont is a wonderful place with progressive, open-minded people that is unfortunately locked in ice for 11 months of the year.

In my next post, I'll talk about Rhode Island, a very small and very strange state that has many cultural treasures and a strong progressive inclination but is also ruthlessly corrupt and run by the mob. Nice beaches, too.

Do I Have Enough Water?

The picture to the right is of me sitting in a recreational vehicle up in Fryeburg, Maine, for a mind-numbingly huge faire they do up there every year. A population of 3,000 people turns into 300,000 people; whoopie pies are deep fat fried, livestock roam free and NASCAR novelty items are for sale every three feet. I'm going to write more about this phenomenon, but for now I'm busy here with my girlfriend, doing couple things (we're baking a pie!). And I don't mean that as a sexual euphamism, we're actually baking an apple pie. More later, enjoy the rest of the weekend, my pretties!

Shell Fish

The "selfish" parent debate has certainly taken off. Good to see Lindsay on here. I'm a bit concerned that typing "workplace democracy" into Google will bring up my little blog. Back in my activist days, at places like the Socialist Scholars' Conference in NYC, that term was thrown around a lot. We'll do a merry jig to that subject later. Right now, a note about selfish parenting.

Methinks we have a difference of opinion based on a semantic misunderstanding. When I used the word "selfish" I meant it as the great philosopher Hobbes might have meant it; to describe the motivation of most human activity. It's not a negative or positive judgement, it's just a description of movitation. And as I said before, the motive for having children is about personal desire.

There is a negative connotation to the word "selfish" and unfortunately that may have muddied the waters here. As Lindsay mentioned, there is an urge to procreate. Libido motivates sexual desire and probably activity, but sexual urges can be satisfied via, well, sex. With yourself or countless others. Libido is satisfied via fucking. But the urge to procreate transcends all that. That's part of the problem. People feel almost spiritually compelled to make children. The question is why?

And I maintain that the answer is selfish. People overcome natural "urges" all the time. As rational beings we have the ability to carefully consider our behavior and not be governed by instinct. So if you are making children, the answer "instinct" isn't an adequate answer. You're not a woodchuck. People have kids because of the reasons AC gave, and more. But it all comes down to something you want, and the wants of others are irrelevent. That makes it selfish.

As I mentioned, I sincerely don't mean to attach any negative currency to the meaning of the word "selfish." I simply meant that people have kids because they want to have children. There's nothing bad about it, but there is nothing noble, either. It just is. AC makes a valid point about the possible NEGATIVE selfish aspect of having a baby in a world with literally millions of orphans.

Just for the record, and just to make it clear that I'm really not a prick, I think parenthood is the most difficult undertaking a responsible human being can...undertake.

Chewin' On The Cud With Apocalypse Cow

Apocalypse Cow wrote a substantial comment to my last post, for which I thank him. Contrary to what he thinks, it won't end up "sparking a big debate" (unfortunately) between us. I'm not a Utopian Socialist, and the corruption of which he speaks is impossible to avoid. I just want to make a couple of points, and I hope they make sense. I took one too many tramadol, and the room is spinning a bit. If it spins a lot, ala Dorothy's house, I'll take a powder and return to the post later.

Equality is both impossible to achieve and, most of the time, undesirable. What I seek is class consciousness that will give the laborers of the world the intellectual foundation for international unionization. Unions exist primarily to collective bargain, and that is the heart of the whole concept of socialism, at least as it has evolved. One worker alone is nothing, but united they are a force greater than any cabal, corporation or capitalist institution. Anyone with a brother knows that there will be fighting and disagreements, but the key ideal here is to stand together to overcome wage slavery and tyranny.

And that has happened, again and again, in the real world. The impact of unions is still seen in the workplace. But if you'll allow me to skip ahead a bit, my problem is with capitalism. And there are many ways to deal with it. First, let me quickly justify my hatred of capitalism.

Capitalism is a messy term to define. For brevity's sake, I'll stick to corporations, which represent a major institutions and a functioning mechanism that is critical to capitalism. A corporation has a single goal above all others; to make a profit. That puts corporations at odds with the rest of society. Whether the corporation is public or private, it doesn't matter, it exists to make a profit for the owners/investors. Without regulation, corporations will do absolutely anything if it means making money. Without corporate regulation there are no corporate ethics, as ethics are tied to regulation. I don't know if you buy that or not, but here is a short list of things unregulated corporations have done:

Hire and take advantage of children, pollute without restraint, ignore safety needs in the workplace, pay next to nothing, callously manipulate legislation, and price fix with other corporations.

That list goes on and on, but you get the point. I don't believe in evil, and that people are evil, but corporations may as well be. They are the enemy of anyone who can't afford to or is disinclined to buy stock or buy the company outright. Check out the movie The Corporation to get the whole schpiel. I'm trying not to bore people too much, here. My point, however, is that individuals in a company are just people trying to live well and are usually decent. Put them together in a corporation, however, and they can do unspeakably nasty things to the world and the people living in it.

So then the big question is what to do about these corporations? You can regulate them, ala the New Deal and the social democracies of Western Europe. Or you can destroy them and replace them with "state capitalism" like the Soviet Union. Just for the record, China is a sort of hybrid that has combined "free trade zones" inside a Communist/military state. Socialists talk about a "third way" that combines a democracy with strong civil liberties with something called "workplace democracy." That's basically forcing corporations to accept a union structure via elected workers' committees. It's worth mentioning that in political science terms, you can't have socialism without democracy. By definition, socialists are pro-democratic. That's one reason that Hitler rounded up the socialists even before he got to the Jews; politically, they were a threat to his desire for absolute control. Ironically, "national socialism" was strongly pro-capitalist and industrialist. They called themselves "socialists" because socialism was popular among the German people at the time.

Class equality is a straw man. The key is class-consciousness. In this country, the working class has a tendency towards self-loathing. Feeling like a failure for being poor or even middle class is a distinctly American pathology. Corruption in trade unions is recognized and most people take the attitude that it is an unacceptable price to pay for the right to collective bargain. Strangely, corporate malfeasance is seen as just the way things are, and accepted. Closer inspection reveals the cause for this, and it has to do with self-loathing among an entire class of people.

There is no big argument, though, because we fundamentally agree as best as I can see. We agree that total equality is impossible, and possibly undesirable (lumpen proletariat). But greater equality is very possible by doing two simple things:

1. Public ownership and regulation of non-profit corporations aimed at utilities and those services deemed too important for the game of profit-seeking; national health insurance, car insurance, flood insurance (insurance of any kind), airlines, oil and gas companies, utilities.

2. For the private businesses that are left, we have the aforementioned institutionalized unions and very strong regulation.

That's all it would take to level the playing field a great deal and increase the quality of life dramatically. Capitalists, still left in a limited capacity, will still try to subvert democracy (as they do now in countless ways, just look at the Bankruptcy Bill passed a couple of summers ago). Seeking total equality is like hunting ghosts, but my humble demands will go a long way to making a better country and world.

One last point, about the term survival of the fittest. I'd be remiss if I didn't say that that is a reference to procreation. The fitness of an organism is defined by it's ability to produce viable offspring. So the innate survival instinct to which you refer isn't akin to a general desire to procreate. The instinct itself IS (generally speaking) the desire to procreate, or rather the vague compulsion. Having children is a selfish act, an act people engage in less when there is no abject poverty and a high standard of living. Birth rates are lowest in places where the quality of life is highest; W. European and Scandinavian countries.

My only point there is that "instincts" can be impacted by economics and social engineering for greater general welfare. It's ironic that you chose an example of human behavior that can be affected by socio-economic policy to make the point that human animals can't be deterred in their instinctual compulsions. Another way to say it is that greed is not part of our DNA, at least to the degree that we encourage and cultivate it in our current world economy. Aspects of our natural inclinations can be embraced. They can also be measurably reduced by a society that has the right value system.

In conclusion, my goal is to reduce inequality, celebrate class warfare to increase class consciousness, and strategically undermine the goals of corporate capitalism via unions, a free press, free elections, and general hell-raising. But we do agree that there is no Utopia, and total equality is impossible.

When it comes to scholarly matters, I'm downright elitist. The people behind Wikipedia have more faith in the academic wisdom of the masses than I do. And these days, in addition to being an existential nihilist and a meta-ethical relativist, I'm insanely negative about what is going to happen in the future. My ideals are attainable, but they won't be attained in my lifetime, or probably for 1,000 years, if ever. My only point here is that what I want is possible, and with the same DNA we have now.

Of Murray, Reds And The Internationale

One of the most profound and deeply moving scenes in movie history, as far as I'm concerned, is in The Cradle Will Rock, written and directed by Tim Robbins. The movie makes no apologies for being unabashadly left-wing, and the writing occasionally swings close to being sentimental and even maudlin. But it never makes the mistake of being either. Robbins is just carefully (and masterfully) pressing the right buttons, like he does along with Morgan Freeman as an actor in The Shawshank Redemption. And Cradle has a real sharp edge, which Robbins uses to slash playfully at "wealthy Communists" and "Jewish Fascists," and more seriously to stab at capitalism and the ruling class. The funeral at the end, featuring Murray's damaged dummy (symbolizing Crickshaw's dead youthful idealism, as he was a Communist in his youth) is a perfect end to the film. As the procession of clowns, actors, and entertainers of all sorts carry the "corpse" into modern day Times Square. Just in case you were deluded into thinking that things are fundamentally any different today.

The scene I'm writing about has washed-up ventriliquist Crickshaw (Bill Murray) essentially confronting his younger self on stage. The "young Crickshaw" sarcastically calls himself "comrade" and ends up singing The Internationale. The emotional power of this scene is even stronger for those of us who actually do believe, or did, in the dream of class-consciousness and a united human race. One Big Union and all that (any Wobblies' out there?).It's too bad that the Soviet Union officially embraced The Internationale as an anthem. It doesn't belong to any state. But that's another story. I've sung The Internationale countless times over the years, at conferences, meeting and conventions among socialists, communists, and fellow-travelers. In Milwaukee, I think it was, I heard a Cuban opera singer lead in the singing of it. In Chicago, I heard it sung for the first time by more than a handful of people. Apparently, I'm a very emotional person, and almost every time I've sang it with a group I've gotten teary-eyed, or wept outright. Pathetic or not, good or bad, it's the truth.

Here are the words to The Internationale. Bob Seeger has a good version, but ironically I'd have to pay to download it. There's also a fantastic documentary about the song, which I highly recommend, for what that's worth.

The Internationale (Translated into English)

Arise ye workers from your slumbers
Arise ye criminals of want
For reason in revolt now thunders
and at last ends the age of cant.
Now away with all your superstitions
Servile masses arise, arise!
We'll change forthwith the old conditions
And spurn the dust to win the prize.

CHORUS

Then come comrades rally
And the last fight let us face
The Internationale
Unites the human race.

We peasants, artisans and others,
Enrolled amongst the sons of toil
Let's claim the earth henceforth for brothers
Drive the indolent from the soil.
On our flesh for too long has fed the raven
We've too long been the vultures prey.
But now farewell to spirit craven
The dawn brings in a brighter day.

CHORUS

No saviour from on high delivers
No trust we have in prince or peer
Our own right hand the chains must shiver
Chains of hatred, greed and fear.
Ere the thieves will out with their booty
And to all give a happier lot.
Each at his forge must do his duty
And strike the iron while its hot.

CHORUS

Is This Email Telling Me Something?

It's bad enough that last week I looked up and saw a huge black vulture perched above me in a tree; in Massachusetts, no less. Now I get this cryptic email that almost jarred my brain into a seizure. Like a Japanese kids' show but more sinister and weird, if that's possible. I know some of what happened. Random paragraphs of the English language find their way into email advertisements, to help get past "spam" filters. Fair enough. But how about something out of Faulkner, or the minutes from a meeting of the June, 1883 Board of Health, Lunacy and Charity (which really did exist). Shit, anything else, except a Bible verse, perhaps, would be fine. Naturally, it was a cheap drug/Viagra ad. Cheap drugs and boners. Anyway, here's the email:

"Unaccustomed herself to the surprise of finding her divorce unopposed,
Americans have been to Mount Vernon and Gettysburg?
at Antietam and at Gettysburg, but the Union army never thought of
Accurate and murderous they seem when you drop low behind a
against a man by one who has power over him. The personal
An hour passed and all were not by. One sat down for a few minutes
afterward put it, a mere stick to hang clothes on (but they _did_
as the ticks of a clock made almost no smoke, as they brought some
about gunnery; which is one reason for writing this chapter.
are always making reports. Everybody is, so that whoever is superior
Apparently, when the French fought they left red tape behind with the
afterward put it, a mere stick to hang clothes on (but they _did_
as he put faith and backbone into a soldier by their very manner; and
a town of brick and mortar and pavements whose very defencelessness
approached one noted an eagerness, a tightening of nerves. Natural
another one hundred and fifty yards away and fire a rifle occasionally
A vice-admiral at forty-four! A man who is a rear-admiral with us at
army he represents stand for. The blows which the demons from the..."

Broken Down, Break Down, Will Break Down

Yesterday I had what used to be called a nervous breakdown. I'm disinclined to tell the story, but I felt myself walk to the edge, and consider it. Apparently, I walked back. Tennessee Williams once wrote, in Night of the Iguana, that, "acceptance of life is the first requisite for living it." It's certainly necessary for living it well. I'm undecided about the inherent value of my life, so when the blue demon comes calling (also from that play) I run to the boundary between life and death and consider crossing it. It's so easy to do, life is fragile. One has tall buildings, guns (hard to come by in my circle of friends), poisons, gases, and what not. It reminds me of a great little poem by Dorothy Parker, which I'm sure most of you will recognize:

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

The name of that poem is Enough Rope, and was published, I think, in The New Yorker back in the 1920's. I'm not going to look it up online, as that goes against some kind of misguided romantic notion I have about writing from the mind, or something.

Were I alone, my little wild-eyed rants and distant excursions from myself, or maybe to myself, would fall harmlessly. Like that tree in the forest, nobody would hear it, or care. Unfortunately (for them), some people do care about me. Some are friends, some are family, one is my lover and partner. One of the things that contribute greatly to the discord in my life is my desire on one hand to be loved, and my desire to be dead and away from the emotional disaster that is my mind on the other. And perhaps the chemical cocktail in my brain. Although I don't want to blame that. The fault has to lie with me, no excuses.

Yesterday, when I moved to the line and didn't cross it I was as deeply insane as when I was hospitalized almost 7 years ago. Not depressed, like when I decided to undergo ECT, but sort of making a spectacle as I left the room, as it were. If I'm going to off myself, I wish I would do it. Along the same line, if I'm going to accept life and live it, I wish I'd do that, too. I'm a fence-sitter on the issue of the value of living. That makes me a pain in the ass, a jerk, a milquetoast, and a weak and pathetic human being.

Why do I lash out and hurt those around me? I've given that question a lot of thought over the years. Ironically, I'm only hurting those who love me because they nearby. And they are nearby because they love me. So they feel the Wrath of the Poor Idiot while complete strangers do not. Nor do my enemies. It's a sad state of affairs. The wall suffered, too, when I punched a hole in it. I mention that out of a bizarre and unfortunate feeling of pride over having been strong enough to punch a hole in a wall.

I hope the young lady who writes Fia Fatal (among other things) overcomes her writers' block. I'll never be an author because the pressure of a deadline, or even just the need to write to make a living, is too much. It leads to a spiral downward that leads to wall-punching and loved-one upsetting, like any attempt to become a person of consequence.