Irritable Bowel or Cartagena Kid?

Women of the world, don't take advice from Cosmopolitan. It should be called, Provincial. The less education and experience a woman has in life, the more likely a magazine like Cosmopolitan will have currency. And to all the men of the world, don't take any advice from Maxim. This is a magazine that has a demographic made up primarily of 10-40 year old men who share a dream: To find a woman who likes anal sex, the taste of semen, football, posing in lingerie, and if she is mildly retarded, all the better.

Both magazines are interesting only if you're horny, or want to be horny. But you can prod your libido without losing your self-respect. Maxim and Cosmo are to sex what farts are to humor. Check out my link to Facettes de la Petite Mort for something really erotic, but I'm getting off subject.

I scanned the image above from an advice column that I tore out of a Cosmopolitan which I found in a Lahey Clinic doctor's office waiting room. It's meant to help women deconstruct the behavior of their asshole boyfriends. Naturally, it gives specious advice that will cause untold misery in countless American relationships. The receptionist saw me laughing, then saw what I was reading. We get along really well, as I'm at my doctor's office frequently for blood tests and whatnot. But she looked at me like I reading Hustler or National Review. I didn't bring it in! There were two choices on the table, Golf Digest and Cosmopolitan. Which would you choose?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use the loo again. Again! I'm going for the record!