Monday, December 13, 2010

Sid Forgot to Shovel the Metrodome Roof

The 10 acre, snow crusted Metrodome recently collapsed. Over 73 million have visited this sports temple since it opened in 1982. This was something of a revelation for me, as I had no idea Minneapolis was anywhere near that large. I've done some research and discovered a broad-stroke timeline that covers the major events in the Metrodome's storied history.

1982-They build the thing.
2010-It gets squashed like a big, fat bug, finally realizing Robert Cerny's vison.

I'd like to provide some advice for the 73 million people of Minneapolis, and it is this: Don't let these rich weasels push you around when it comes time to build another...dome. I'm from Boston, and lived here all my life. Here in Massachusetts, we love politics and sports. Some years ago, the owners of the Boston Red Sox bullied the Commonwealth into giving them some sweet cash to renovate our beloved Fenway Park. We told them to cram it.

They said some pretty upsetting things in response. A plan was kicked around to put a new baseball park/stadium in New Hampshire. New Hampshire! We knew that wasn't going to happen, what with New Hampshire being a shit-hole and everything. Then they threatened to move to Connecticut. We didn't balk. The general feel around here was, "Yeah, right."

And it payed off. Fenway Park is now a renovated ball park, with seats jammed into any place a seat could be, like on top of the left field wall ("The Green Monster"), put in all sorts of new luxury and media boxes, and generally spruced the place up.

Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots made the same threat. We scoffed. They threatened to move to Malta, and we didn't budge. No tax money for a corporate endeavor was given, but they built a great new stadium anyway. The roads around the stadium were improved with state moula, sure, but that's it.

Our hockey team, The Bruins, got a new Boston Garden, but not because of the Bruins. Because it's hockey, and hockey is ridiculous. It was more for the Celtics, and Elton John, or whomever else plays there.

Never let the capitalists boobs push you around, Minneapolitans! Oh, you'll need a new dome all right, what with the destruction of the old one. But when they start threatening to move to South Dakota or Haiti if the government doesn't cough up some tax breaks, or float some bonds, look 'em in the eye and say, "Go ahead, make my day, punks."

7 comments:

leah walker said...

we should have a lottery to re build the thing!!! and i'm not sure but i think i heard today that it has collapsed before in the 90's, i don't remember this, but it must of happened if someone else does, thank you for you blog very good

Anonymous said...

i live in minneapolis. i hope the vikings go to L.A.

Anonymous said...

[URL=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]bigger penis[/URL]
[URL=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]penis enlargement pills[/URL]
[URL=http://vimax3-4.com]vimax[/URL]
[URL=http://www.male-sexual-styles.com]penis enlargement[/URL]
[URL=http://www.vimax-pills.org]Vimax[/URL] EWE19122010, Vimax EWE00Tai90 7567676, vimax, 5345454, penis enlargement, 0843098 penis enlargement pills, -04947365 bigger penis, 098267 penis enlargement pills work or not? 893397, penis enlargement, 873139 download youtube videos, 897926 penis enlargement pills, 90077092

Anonymous said...

[URL=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]bigger penis[/URL]
[URL=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]penis enlargement pills[/URL]
[URL=http://vimax3-4.com]vimax[/URL]
[URL=http://www.male-sexual-styles.com]penis enlargement[/URL]
[URL=http://www.vimax-pills.org]Vimax[/URL] EWE19122010, Vimax EWE00Tai90 7567676, vimax, 5345454, penis enlargement, 0843098 penis enlargement pills, -04947365 bigger penis, 098267 penis enlargement pills work or not? 893397, penis enlargement, 873139 download youtube videos, 897926 penis enlargement pills, 90077092

Anonymous said...

Motor Yamaha Mio
Motor Mio CW
Motor Mio FI
Mio J CW FI Teen
Mio J FI

Nia Mulyasari said...

obat keloid

Nia Mulyasari said...

obat keloid