Draw It Mild, Chavez...You're Dealing With A Maniac

Ah, Venezuela...sweet, sweet Venezuela. If you know me well enough, or have simply been in one of the online discussion groups that I lovingly frequent, you probably know that I'm quite the fan of President Hugo Chavez. Naturally, he is far from perfect, and does a lot of things that worry me, but I can't help but admire him. Because of him and his "Bolivarian Revolution," billions of dollars now flow into the Venezuelan economy instead of into the pockets of a few capitalists. The nationalization of the oil industry in Venezuela via the Petroleos de Venezuela S.A. (PDVSA) is an attractive socialist model...it turns me on. And I also have a thing for funding massive social welfare projects, from literacy prgrams to health care clinics (with help from Cuban doctors) to improved housing and infrastructure.

But Chavez can be a tricky guy to embrace, especially for a peacenik lefty like me. I don't think he cares, and I know not the subtlies of running a country in the midst of a economic and social revolution. Who am I to judge him? Still, I wish he would stop with all the "we will crush you if you fuck with us" military talk. Again, if I were him, I'd probably be paranoid about a U.S. invasion (we have a bad reputation). But posing with Kalashnikov? What the fuck!

For those of you who don't know, Mikhail Kalashnikov is the designer of the infamous Kalashnikov series of guns, including the AK-47. Every single bad guy in every spy movie made during the Cold War at one time or another brandished an AK-47 menacingly at the hero. It's the most popular assault weapon in the world, and is still prized by anyone trying to kill large numbers of people. And from what I understand, they're a good bargain.

Chavez, in an attempt to bulk-up the military of Venezuela, has purchased 100,000 AK-103 guns from Russia. They've also picked up some other toys, jets and things, and the Russians and Chinese are more than happy to sell the oil rich Venezuelans anything they want. Washington protests, and Chavez tells them to screw. I would, too. What moral high ground could we possibly take here? I don't think I have to point out that the U.S. spends more on her military than every other country in the world combined. Well, I guess I just did.

Today is Independence Day in Venezuela, and they like fireworks and military displays almost as much as we do. Amidst all this, Chavez pointed out that "Venezuela is not preparing to invade anybody. But nobody mess with us, because we are ready to die to safeguard the sovereignty of this land." Fair enough.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing provides mucho ammunition to Fox News, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal and the Topeka Sun. They paint him as some sort of dangerous "left-wing dictator" that is trying to take over the world, control oil and natural gas supplies, make friends with China and engage in militaristic displays. Actually, none of that is a problem if it's done by a right-wing dictator. What they are really afraid of is Chavez' desire to fuel a socialist revolution with THEIR oil. People in South America are supposed to know that if oil is found, it has to be given to a gringo capitalist.

Basically, I still (heart) the Bolivarian Revolution. But I admit that I wish Chavez would tone it down a bit. If I find out that he's going to play the villain in the next 007 movie, then I know he's gone too far. But who among us could resist the temptation to antagonize the Bush Regime? Just be careful, comrade...the man in the White House is out of his fucking mind.