Incidentally, the pill is saying, "Bah!" as it angrily shuffles to music unheard. You don't get much more "incidental" than that. But I'm going to say a word or two about my credit report, so pay attention, or don't. I was repeatedly hassled by a website that offered me a free credit report, and eventually I gave in and filled out an application. Apparently, "free" means "$12.95 a month" in the parlance of the day, so I gave up and moved on. After all, the news can't be good. The $35,000 I owe in student loans is probably a bad thing, not to mention the fantastic lack of concern I exhibited regarding my credit card debt when I was in the looney bin. When you're sleeping on a cot in a room with 11 homeless people, some of whom seem to refuse to sleep or even lie down, it's hard to focus on finances. At the same time, it's really easy to talk yourself into cramming your finger into a wall socket. That and a lack of money kept me from settling up with Bank of America.
You've taken your first step towards total credit peace of mind!
That's what the "free" credit report people told me before I fled the scene. How presumptuous! Knowing my credit rating is only going to make me more aware of how irrelevant am I. Right now, my pathetic failures are ill-defined and obscure. In other words, you have to know me a little bit to know what a mook I am, so I'm fortunate in that I'm not well-known. A credit "score" won't make me any better known, but it will put slap an actual number on me, thus defining me with pinpoint accuracy. Sort of how if you're walking around fat and you know that you're fat but you don't get really upset about it until you weigh yourself. You feel like someone just held you down with their foot and burned a number into your ass. The only time I was pleasantly surprised by a number was when I took my SATs. That's because I thought I was an idiot beforehand. As it turns out, I'm merely a boob.
I just had a memory flash, and now I want a graham cracker. It's from mentioning the nut-house, where the only thing to eat between meals were individually-wrapped crackers of graham. In between group therapy, staring at each other, meals, talking to each other and meeting with psychiatrists, we ate mounds of those things.
Fuckin' Mounds are good, too. Almond Joys are better, as they break-up the monotony of the coconut. Or cocoanut.
1 comment:
You do have a right to get your credit report free every year, but definitely don't do it from freecreditreport.com, do it from the annualcreditreport.com site instead. As you found out, freecreditreport.com is free, but includes a $12.95 monthly subscription fee. Bastards.
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