No More Blog

I'm fond of writing. The drawer next to me is full of stories, poems and simple ideas. Well, perhaps not "full." And this silly little blog certainly provides more than evidence of my predilection for scribbling. I prefer that to typing, although I must admit that I don't do it very often, only for letters.

Regardless of all that, the time has come for me to put an end to this silly little blog. It serves no purpose, amuses no one, and falsely provides me with an albeit modest feeling of creative accomplishment. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, as we all need our illusions. But it is wrong for me to subject people, many of whom are friends, to these unfunny, boring tirades. What I'm posting here isn't even good enough to distract from most other blogs!

I've been a fool for so long, thinking that I'm funny and interesting when in reality I'm just a pitiful loner who needs to reconcile his hopes of what he could have been with what he really is, and always will be; a mentally-ill loner with nothing to offer. There is nothing wrong with being that, unless you think you are something else, something better than that.

If I'm going to get though life, I have to shut down as much as I can and focus on being a good friend, brother and son. Whatever ego I have needs to be crushed and eradicated so that I may reconcile with myself, as I wrote before. I'm a small man, but I need to become smaller. My microscopic presence must not be felt or seen, except by those very few who really want to. My odds of living another 10 or 20 years are best if that is the case. It just hurts too much when people talk about how much they enjoy this blog. Or when they say I should write a novel or something. I know that I'm stupid and strange, and that people like to keep me at a distance because I talk about myself too much.

Eventually, I need to find fulfillment in life in very, very simple things. In being alone, taking care of my cats, getting out for a walk on occasion, listening to music, and trying to be there for my friends. It's time to stop playing "writer" and using things like this blog to make myself out to be a person of any consequence whatsoever.

That's about it. Bye.