When it comes to sex on the Silver Screen, my tastes run the gambit from phoney and air-brushed to sweaty and realistic. We've all seen the scripted pornography where two incredibly sexy people fuck for twenty minutes, and then orgasm together. If a fellow can thrust inside a woman for more than five minutes he either suffers from a disorder or he put a dab of benzocaine on his man-clit. Either that, or he's wearing a condom the thickness of a banana peel. In reality, the meeting of a stone hard cock and the moist flower of a vagina leads to, at best, a few minutes of classic, old-fashioned "fucking." Usually, it's over in less than two minutes. Sometimes it's over in less than two seconds, and then you say, "Aw, honey, that's never happened to me before" or "I couldn't help it, you're so damn hot."
For the woman, if there is no tongue there is no orgasm. It's a fallacy that cunnilingus is a new phenomenon. I was looking at a book of Victorian Era pornography a couple of months ago, and commenting on it with a female friend of mine. The first thing she noticed is that there was a lot of muff-diving. We probably think that people only fucked in the missionary position, and women never got off, because we equate the past with old people. As if old people were always old. And that people of the past were somehow more uptight. That attitude feeds a lot of myths. One myth is that in the colonial period people fucked through a hole in a sheet. Sometimes you hear it as Orthodox Jews fucking through a sheet. Either way, it's not true. Every generation likes to think that they are more open-minded than the last. It's nice to think that you're living in a time when every taboo is being challenged, at least if you're a person who admits to liking sex a great deal. But I can assure you that every generation has done it before, and that there is nothing new under her bun.
Personally, I admit that there are times when I like to get really freaky in bed, and there are times when I want my pecker left alone. Depression is like that, and mania is the opposite. When I'm manic, I want every hole crammed with goodness; hers and mine. So what I'm doing in bed, if anything, reflects the status of my mental health. That makes sense. If I'm in too good a mood, I start pointing out attractive women to my lesbian friends, which annoys them. It's hard not to, though, when you're manic and horny. And if I my occasional observation that a man is sexy makes you nervous, you're too square to be my kind of cat. I'm so hep. And when I'm in a good mood, I just can't hold it in.
This leads me to my point about sex and movies. I just saw a movie called, "Perfume" that recently opened in theatres. It's a very sexy movie based on a very sexy novel. And it does idealize the classic image of feminine sexuality as youthful and wide-eyed and just breaking with innocence. Girl, you'll be a woman soon. Remember that Neil Diamond song? Anyway. The movie also does something very rare in movies. Perhaps because it's not a very mainstream product. It shows average looking people fucking their brains out. Here in a fantastic orgy scene. I won't ruin the story and explain why, but in one scene a whole crowd of people just decide to fuck the person standing next to them. It's wild, man. Men on men, women on women, along with fat, skinny, hairy, old, young, you name it. The odds of your neighbor looking like Natalie Portman or Brad Pitt are pretty slim. And this movie honestly reflects that. That alone is compelling cinema.
Sex doesn't belong only to the young and gorgeous. Your ass doesn't have to be sublime to be spanked, and if your lover isn't an idiot, he or she will forgive your tiny cock. A friend of mine complains that her marvelous tits are flawed because one is slightly larger than the other. That's the kind of fucked up world we live in. Perfection is sought everywhere. Honestly, though, if you have skin and a libido, sex is for you. We all like to look at models, and see a fine, tight ass or cute little glistening clit mounted before the camera. But I never knew any pornography that was more than a moon-cast shadow next to a willing partner lying naked in the bed beside you. I'm not even talking about love here, just lust. Love adds another dimension. The poets have that covered. If you're lucky enough to be fucking the person you love, then you are fortunate indeed.
The best sex I've ever had was with a woman who was not pretty by any standard. The worst sex was with a woman who would only fuck with her underwear on. She would pull it to one side. I kid you not. She became vaguely catatonic after penetration. I'm not picking on her, I don't know what she's been through. Perhaps she was abused (that's my theory). But Madison Avenue presumes to know what you want in the sack, and they define it primarily as young, immaculate and enticing. I'd like to tell them a little secret; young people don't know how to fuck. It's a generalization, I know, but advertisers think in generalizations. I'm sure there are some wunderkinds out there who really know what they are doing. For the most part, though, knowing how to fuck well is something you learn, coupled with a modicum of empathy, humility and geneuine concern for your partner's enjoyment. So you can't be selfish, either. Experience is important, though, and that can only come with age. Another pun. This post is rife with them. Like fleas in cheap African hotel. Personally, I think people generally fuck best in their 30's thru 50's. Those years combine physical well-being with hard-earned knowledge. And that doesn't necessarily mean multiple partners, either. A couple that communicates their wants well will learn more in a week than a couple that stays quiet and just hopes by some miracle that the sex will get better year after year.
So I'm still going to spend some of my time looking at womens' asses on the Internet. And most of those asses will be young asses, like age 5 or 6. I'm kidding. Probably mostly asses in their 20's and 30's.. But as Bruce Willis' girlfriend says in Pulp Fiction, "What is pleasing to the eye and what is pleasing to the touch are seldom the same." Excellent, I ended with a movie quote.
No comments:
Post a Comment