Three Thoughts And A Kvetch

If a sky-diving clown with a bad parachute lands in the woods at 35 ft per second, does anyone hear his little red nose go honky honk honk?

What's more likely? Me getting my life together and living a life of consequence, or a web-toed autistic grandmother splitting the atom with a crayon?

Has anyone ever poked their brain after getting into a car accident while picking their nose?

Recently I've been obsessing about a couple of friends who have fallen out of regular contact. We haven't even exchanged an email for many weeks. I get nostalgic for the time we were friends, and a cold loneliness makes my nipples hard. Ultimately, we're all going to have to part company and take the big dirt nap. But knowing that does little to assuage what can only be described as pain. I really feel the loss, something fierce. And along with that I feel judged. Like I didn't measure up as a friend and needed to be dumped as ballast or something. If any of you bastards think I'm holding you back, I'm not. It's you. So fuck you if you decide you don't like me anymore or choose not to be my friend. I'm not going to kvetch over this anymore. My heart feels like it's being squashed into a diamond, or spent plutonium...or something else hard and dense. I don't know, who am I, Mr. Fuckin' Wizard over here?

So there it is, my new disposition. Hey man, I'm loose...take me or leave me. I'm just another muffin in the case. I don't pay no mind. Mr. Takin' It Easy drawing it mild and chilling out, just hanging around. Ain't no guff. I don't have any stinkin' insecurities, you donut eating cow fucker. So don't write me back...fine. It's no skin off my stiff upper lip. Yeah.