Sunday, August 24, 2008

Actually, 19 Cannibals

According to the highly-scientific calculations provided by this website, an advertisement for an online dating service, my body would feed 19 cannibals. The "10 cannibal" comes from a calculation involving a 115lb woman I know. I just know that if she can feed 10 people, I can feed WAY more than 19. But anyway, check out the link.

How many cannibals could your body feed?

The compulsion to write about my painfully uninteresting stupidity and mental illness has mercifully waned of late. Although, clearly I'm still motivated to engage in self-deprecation. Really, that's a brutal combination. It's amazing anyone can exist near the black hole that is me.

Blah, blah, blah, woe is me, splat, fart.

The Olympics just ended. Quite a spectacle. An explosion of Chinese people in bicycle helmets climbing a five-story tower, jumping off, and climbing it again. China is a country of 700 million hot Asian women. Think of that. China is the country that cares not about Darfur, and a genocide they could have stopped. China has the largest military and navy in the world. Everything you and I own is made in China. At the last Olympics, and obviously at this one, Taiwan was terrified by China into calling herself, "Chinese Taipei." But worst of all, China told a cute little girl that she was too fucking ugly to sing at the Olympics.

These are not nice people. Then again, they are no worse than the US or Britain when they were emerging nations and centers of commerce. The USA is on the fast track to becoming a quaint little former superpower on the opposite side of the globe from the biggest, wealthiest and most powerful nation on Earth.

I think we should set up committees, like Draft Boards of old, to find our own cutest little boys and girls. You know, just to be cautious.

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