But anything can happen. Do not be surprised if Friday morning's Boston Globe headline reads, "Xeitythotl, King of the Kangaroo People, ascends Glorious Throne of Buv'Tok." Well, that would be pretty fucking crazy, but it doesn't seem as crazy as planes knocking down the World Trade Center or Bush stealing the election. Or Gallagher.
I beg anyone out there with a gun of any kind, if this election is a 269-269 tie, come to my flat and blow my head off. Just do it in a cool way, like Anton Saguro from No Country for Old Men. Not with a bowling pin, like that crazy son of a bitch in There Will Be Blood.
I'm just saying, if you're going to kill me and base how you do it on a movie you saw, pick the method that will, you know, hurt me less. Think of me as a zombie and shoot me in the head.
You know what? Just scratch the whole idea, ok? Buncha fucking rubes, the lot of you.