Monday, February 08, 2010

I Miss Last Week

When hikers reach a high, scenic spot they may feel compelled to leave a simple stone. Over time, hikers leave little stacks of rock that sometimes aren't so little.

Arctic expeditions would manufacture ice cairns, which would be the only vertical object for 1,000 miles in any direction. Passing ships would send men onto the icepack to leave notes inside, that could then be picked up by the next expedition. The messages were kept dry in beautiful little airtight copper tubes. They were usually pretty simple, focused on technical matters, weather, and a list of lost crewmen.

This is a digital photography cairn. It's a collection of images from my time as Linda's beloved partner.

I've been in many relationships, and even been in full blown love three times, with all the bells and whistles, confetti and a rain of kisses. Many peaks and valleys, if you get my hackey drift.

Let me put things another way. I never took Linda for granted. When we were together, I knew I was one lucky son of a bitch, and I took stock. Memories are important. The first picture up there is of Linda and I in Oyster Bay, New York. The Children's Museum, I think. The other is obviously here. Are you at all familiar with They Can't Take That Away From My by George and Ira Gershwin? If not, get familiar. Take a listen here. And here are the lyrics, which are important. Years ago, musicians and artists used to use something called melody. And the lyrics were simple, yet profound. Yup.

There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me

We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No they can't take that away from me

It is worth noting that this song was a work in progress for the Gershwin brothers, for commercial release, when George died. Ira then wrote the lyrics using his dead brothers music. It was a dedication to brotherly love. I'm powerless to keep people in my life, people whom I love with all of me, and I'm given to pouring over memories. It's my sentimentality. Let me say it one last time. I love you, Linda, and our time together was a gift.

This picture shows many of the obstacles to Linda and I finding happiness together. The one on the far left is me, and I'm mainly responsible for making Linda miserable enough to want to flee. But there are some other people in the picture who simply did not true me or like me from day 1 because I'm mentally ill. But that's all in the past. Here we are, before the scarlet letter was applied.

So many memories for me to cherish. The way she would cuddle up so close at night that 90% of the bed was wide open. My naked bum would be against the wall, and it would get really cold. Then when I turned over, she would jump when my cold ass hit her. She and I went to a nudist colony together, too, as a sort of protest against all the hard-bodies. Every night I would make dinner. Annie and I would greet her in the parking lot, and we were a little family. Eventually, I hope to find another family. No kids, just pets. If I find a woman that is 1/10th as funny, sexy, cute and wonderful as my Linda, I'll be lucky to have her. Linda was just out of my class. So I shall cherish what we had. Love will provide my little family again, but right now I'm not much to look at, just a guy with a dog and a broken heart.

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