Depression is boring, to have, or hear about. So I won't spend much time whining, and I'll couch my self-pity in such a way as to make them sound like observations.
When I'm depressed, I go to bed early and try to sleep in as late as possible. That is exceedingly difficult, the sleeping late part, because of my morning anxiety attack. Something vigorously compels me to get out of bed, complete my morning toilette, dress, and then drink coffee and smoke my pipe. While doing that, I plan my day. With that, anxiety subsides. It's not unlike a soldier on guard duty who falls asleep at his post, and then awakens in a panicked state that won't subside until he knows that all is all right. Every morning feels like that to me.
After that, nothing of note happens, except when Nancy awakens and I hug her and try to make it clear how much she means to me. I've learned never to take anything or anyone for granted.
Housecleaning, laundry and painting my flat has kept me feeling productive. Every so often, I hear or read a political comment that infuriates me. This leads to anger and irritability in addition to depression. That's not a good combination.
Most of the political debate these days is beneath any thinking or self-respecting person. Logic, decency and compassion have gone bye-bye. It's a shame, given that we live in remarkable times. We need thoughtful, principled leaders running our country. There are a few, but their voices are drowned out by the din of shouted "logic," that is absurd, hurtful and twisted. It has been bought and paid for by special interests, and we have to listen to it. America is a prosperous nation, particularly if you're a large corporation, and every elected official, being human, has a price. Not good for our republic.
Serenity now...serenity now...serenity now...
Negativity is a cancer on the mind, growing and taking time and resources away from nobler thoughts, making it difficult to appreciate a world full of things worth appreciating. One is inclined to hover, out of a morbid curiosity, over painful memories and dreadful possibilities.
Better to move my eyes across my memory and find places less often explored. I'm thinking of the Reading Room at my local library, as it pleases me. I used to love sitting there, reading the paper in the library to save a few bits.
When I was a student at UMass Boston, I spent several hours a week having lunch next to the Kennedy Library. That was sweet.
This is an aerial shot of George's Island, in Boston harbor. One can sit there in the shadow of the city, but not hear a thing except for the waves lapping at the shore.
Another great point to take in the ocean is Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester, Massachusetts.
Boston's Symphony Hall, which I don't get to enough.
I first saw the Wang Center lobby when I was very young. It made quite an impression on me.
My second home in the '90's, The UMass Boston campus at Columbia Point.
The Gardner Museum garden, in the center of the building, is just the bee's knees.
And Annie is more effective than any pill at killing negative thoughts.
Wow, I feel better already. The trick is to be vigilant. If one isn't careful, negative thoughts creep in and...oh, shit!!!!