Tuesday, August 02, 2011

The Corpse of Debs vs. The Butt Plug

Obama gave in to Republicans again. The sun rises, the sun sets, the tides come in and go out, and Obama drops the soap in the prison shower. It never seems to be otherwise. Obama apparently enjoys rough ass play, and gets it again and again. The question for my people, those of us radically left-of-center, is, once again, what do we do in the next election? Do we cast our vote for a "Democrat" like Obama, or go with a 3rd party candidate who won't win?

As a member of the Socialist Party for 23 years, I go back and forth, as if I suffer from a split personality. One day, I feel practical and think that the Democrats aren't so bad. The next it's, "Fuck the donkey! I'm voting for a Red or Green...who cares if they meet around a card table with room to spare! I'll bring the chips!"

What to do. It doesn't help that most of my Comrades do not help. They like to simplify the issue by overstating the negatives of the Democrats and understating the differences between the two parties (of which there really are some). Centrist Democrats don't help either, by celebrating Obama's every move like he is another fucking Mandela or something. The avatar of each approach sits on each of my shoulders. The radical left is represented by the corpse of Eugene V. Debs, the Democrats look like a butt plug dipped in Icy Hot. This is how the conversation goes in my head:

DNC Butt Plug says, "The Democrats aren't that bad. Look at Obama, he is certainly a reasonable fellow, very likable, and he can win, unlike your Red buddies. He almost never does what you want, ever, but at least he is not Santorum or Bachmann. The Democrats really do love you, and you know that they complete you. Chin up, fatso!"

Eugene V. Debs replies, "O-Bomba sucks ass, he is the worst president ever! Bachmann would be no worse! The two party system must die! Don't be such a fucking pussy and vote for someone who can't afford cable and uses the word, "Imperialist" a lot. At least then your conscience would be clear, even though you may lose Social Security benefits and be kicked out of public housing. Eating cold beans out of a can isn't that bad!"

I have an answer for Dead Debs, which goes like this, "Bachmann and her associates really are much, much worse than you think. They are obsessed by the "dangers" of homosexuality (in a bad way), hate the poor, are indifferent to the plight of the middle class, and think that God is an American citizen. The GOP is genuinely hostile to people like me; poor, atheist, Left and accepting government assistance. If any of the Republican presidential candidates were to win, I'd be like a Jew in 1935 Munich and I'd have to get out of town very quickly. This truth extends to all Republicans. Obama really is far less evil. And cold beans (and cold, homeless nights in Beantown) suck. We can't risk Republicans in power."

My answer to Monsieur Butt Plug, as he jigs and ambles on my shoulder, is this, "Most Democrats are as bad as the Republicans. We are in the middle of class warfare, and only a couple of Democrats know it, or care. Obama truly is a nice little fellow, but what has he done for the people who voted for him? Nothing! Fuck off, Butt Plug, and take your fucking flag pin with you. My vote goes to a Comrade!"

It goes back and forth like that for several months, until I have a psychotic breakdown. After a few shock treatment sessions, I'm back on the horse, and Debs and the Plug are back, perched on my shoulders like angels from a Wim Wender movie. The process begins again.

It's been like that for me since I was 17, more or less.

Right now, I'm of a mind to fling a pie (strawberry rhubarb, none of this cream pie crap) at Obama, Reid and Pelosi and poop on the White House doorstep. I'll feel that way until I hear Bachmann's next comment, given on television while looking strangely to the left of the camera. She'll say something mind-blowing and stupid and dangerous, and I'll run like Curly back to the relative protection of Obama's Portuguese Water Dogs.

The pills help, though, as I run back and forth.

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