The Bitch Tattoo And That Prick Stefano

I'm not ashamed to say it. My lovely wife has me hooked on, "Days of our Lives." Even if I only see one episode once a month, I know what is going on. It's an amazing formula. The shows on HBO are the exact opposite. Miss one episode of, "Boardwalk Empire" or "Game of Thrones" and I'm totally lost. What's going to happen if Nikki tries to keep EJ away from his baby? And Sami and EJ have a history. Does she love him? And Stefano, what a lovable prick!

And you can't beat the hilarity of product placement. Here is a scene where they subtly push Cheerios, which are not just for breakfast anymore:

It started with, "Dark Shadows." We watched one episode on Netflix, and that was it. A week later and we had watched every episode. Barnabas Collins is one sexy fellow at 175 years of age. Check him out:

As a vampire, he has no qualms about killing you, but he's more likely to look at you like that. Slow burn. And nobody ever asks why he has candles all over the house instead of getting some light bulbs.

Anyway, I got Nancy a subscription to, "Bitch" magazine for her birthday, and for some reason they sent along a rub-on tattoo. Like the ones they used to put in Cracker Jack boxes. It's a really good fake tattoo that only came off after a liberal application of alcohol and a bit of scrubbing. It looked like this, before it started to make me feel like "Bombshell" McGee and had to go:

That's all for tonight. I'm watching, "SoapNet" and Stefano just told Gina to go get his egg and bring it to him. Some kind of jewel-encrusted Fabergé thing, the stuff that dreams are made of. Gotta go!