|People pretending that they're not acutely |
aware that they're buck naked.
If you know Nancy at all, you know I'm full of shit. When I asked her to go, she said, "There is no fucking way I'm doing that. If someone wants to see me naked, they'd better pay me, a lot. No way I'm ever going to do that, so don't bother asking ever again. Nope. It's fucking stupid." So she didn't exactly leave the door open to the possibility of one day frolicking naked in the salt water pond, or enjoying the warmth of the nightly fire pit.
Incidentally, hanging around a roaring fire when naked is a perilous proposition. What with the sparks and all. A floating ember near a naked body is like a lottery with no winners. One hopes to get away without any little burn marks, but most get a tiny burn on their ass or back. I suppose that would be a, "winner." An unlucky loser gets a burn on one of the bodies' delicate pink spots. But I digress.
|James "Jimmy" Durante|
It's worth noting how well concealed this place is, down a dirt road, amid the hedges and scrub pines. A very large wooden gate stands shut, and one has to knock and provide the "code phrase" that is given to you when you make your reservation. When the gate opened for us, a very skinny and very old man greeted us, wearing a brown loin cloth, which came off when we entered and the gate closed. In the office, there were several pictures of single white men who were not allowed to enter; local sex offenders, mostly, and a few who did God knows what the previous season.
|Are you really a nudist if you wear a hat? |
That was our cabin, the blue one in the distance.
At the cabin, it took us about 5 minutes to decide who would walk out of the cabin first, nude. Naturally, it was me. We were being watched by the old couple who let us in, probably to make sure we weren't there to just look at nude people. We had to prove our nudiness. The gauntlet had been thrown down. After that, we were in the club, as it were.
It's snowing out right now, and the town of Barnstable, along with the little hamlet Marston Mills, and Sandy Terraces within it, are getting nailed with 25 foot waves off the ocean and temperatures around 30 degrees Fahrenheit. So naturally I feel compelled to ask, "Where do all the nudists go?" People like these, all looking for their lost shaker of salt while hopefully not bending over in front of you...
|Most people are fairly unattractive, which nudism accentuates.|
|Oh, the humanity|
|A "chubby" with a man attached|