Friday, April 05, 2013

The Campaign I Killed

Letters like these squelch my desire to be an activist.

Dear Mr. Lyle,

Thank you so much for all your support in 2012, but in the coming year we are facing a huge challenge. More money and activism are needed to continue our pivotal role in moving this campaign forward. This past year we took a major step forward by hiring a full-time executive director. Benjamin Honeycutt is a highly-motivated organizer who has made it possible to act preemptively on many fronts. The future looks bright for our cause.

Or not, it's tough to say. Frankly we've lost interest since you've gotten involved. Your existential nihilism and morose disposition have combined to form a dark cloud that hangs over anyone who spends more than 5 minutes with you. In addition, you radiate a flavorless indifference that has poisoned our entire staff like that Russian guy that Putin killed. A passionate desire to improve the world fuels every activist, except you. You seem to be motivated to volunteer by a rusty bayonet at your back with the word "Guilt" written on it. You make Catholic guilt look like a minor headache. How did you ever get so neurotic and fucked-up?

Our cause is a noble one, and we endeavor to persevere and relieve unspeakable suffering in our lifetime. We can best achieve this if you stay as far away as possible. Perhaps we will find our spark again in the springtime. Perhaps not. But if we are to have a chance, you must refrain from trying to help. Did you know that in the wake of your taking over the Cambridge Local we've had 2 suicides, and 11 members joined either Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous? And that was just in the week following your "motivational" speech.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but Jesus Christ...Jesus Christ.

Deborah Bernard


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