What the Hell is going on?

Last night I tuned into the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. I like the idea of the Olympics, as athletes from many nations get together to compete in the spirit of brotherhood. Something like that. The best part was the hearing John Lennon's "Imagine," which is truly a great song.

And there were other highlights. The entrance of the athletes by nation is educating and fun to watch, too. I didn't know that Finland only has 5 million people. As each nation's statistics came up, my father and I bet that we could guess the population of each country. Good times. And I was really amused that Taiwan, under an agreement between the Olympic Committee and China, was not allowed to display her flag. Not only that, but it was called, "Chinese Taipei" instead of Taiwan.

So much for leaving politics behind.

The rest of the ceremony, with the acrobats, fire, balloons, and a car doing donuts (no joke), often had me asking myself, "What the hell is going on?" It's not that I don't appreciate abstraction, I do. Really, I do. Hey, fuck you! But the multi-colored, flaming Italians running around, combined with the ever-present Bob Costas voiceover, had me snickering.

I almost pissed my pants when Bob Costas gushed, "The Renaissance was born in Italy!" And Mary Carillo agreed, "Yes, it started here and moved throughout Europe." Meanwhile, an acrobat was hanging from a balloon and a supermodel was portraying Venus from Botticelli's painting, "The Birth of Venus."

On one level, it all made sense; balloons, Costas, supermodels. On another level, I was asking, once again, "What the Hell is going on?"

It all made sense by the time Sophia Loren made her way onto the field, however. She is really sexy, even at 71. And from there, we finally saw the torch-bearer, who was also really hot (Italy, apparently, is packed with fabulous-looking women). Then they lighted the torch that looks like it belongs on an oil refinery, and Pavarotti sang.

It's not over until the fat guy sings.

Then I went to bed.

Fin.