In order to get some feedback on a screenplay that I've been working on for many years, I've decided to post some of it here. Just a taste, people, but don't worry...there's plenty of idiocy to draw from the well. And now, a little o' this from Epic of Absurdity! That's a drawing for the movie poster on the right...that's Bobo.
The scene is a jail cell, there appears to have been an explosion. Pipes jut out from the floor and walls, which is empty except for three people. An adjecent jail cell is visible, and inside is a chimpanzee wearing a top hat and monocle. The other cell contains Abraham Lincoln, Adolph Hitler, and Nina Simone. Water is rushing in through a pipe in the chimpazee's cell, and it has almost reached the ceiling. Our heroes have only minutes to live if that water is not stopped.
HITLER: (In thick German accent, naturally) You better have taught ze chimp how to tighten that screw and shutten offen ze valve or we are all kaput!
LINCOLN: Shut up, you kraut bastard, you're making him nervous! Do it, Bobo...show the Fuhrer how I taught you...go ahead. It's just a simple little #5 flushed housing aluminum draft screw.
CHIMP: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
HITLER: Mein gott! That scheisse thing wouldn't know a screw from a cashew!
LINCOLN: Everybody calm the fuck down! Bobo, follow my instructions. (Lincoln takes several minutes to frantically relate a series of hand gestures to Bobo.)
SIMONE: Mississippi Goddamn!
Bobo slowly and clumsily produces a small screwdriver from his top hat and swims to a box near the open pipe. He deftly inserts the screw into one of the many holes on the surface of the metal box, and with a skill that could only have come from years of training, he turns the screw and the water begins to stop. The water level begins to recede.
SIMONE: (singing) I loves' you, Bobo!
LINCOLN: (sighing with relief) I knew that training would pay off one day. (His eyes meet with Bobo's, and they nod at each other). I knew you could do it, Bobo.
BOBO: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
HITLER: Abe, I'm sorry zat I doubted you and your exsquisite primate friend. Thank you, my friend...thank you.
LINCOLN: (embracing Hitler and Simone) We can still save those poor people at the zoo, but only if we hurry.
Hitler: Those people are doomed! Dr. Fashabular will now use his mutation ray on the marmosets! Only god can save us now.
LINCOLN: (smile) Either god, or a chimpanzee named, "Bobo" who knows how to pick a lock with his monocle.
They all look to Bobo's cell, and see that his door is already open.
BOBO: (in a Cockney accent) Looking for me, gentleman?
They all turn and see Bobo holding his monocle just outside their own cell. They all look at each other and smile.
LINCOLN: I told you he was special. (he reaches out and strokes Bobo) He's my special...little...guy.
BOBO: I will let you out, but I need a promise from you all...and time is running out.
---------------
And that's all you get for now! Isn't it exciting, though? What does Bobo want? How did such a strange collection of people, from different times, no less, get into a flooded cell? Why did Abraham Lincoln spend years training a chimpanzee how to turn a #5 aluminum housing draft screw? So many compelling questions...it can't miss!
No comments:
Post a Comment