A few minutes ago I was chewing on some microwave "Kettle Corn," which is a slightly sweet popcorn, and I broke a damn tooth. I spit out a heavy piece of silver amalgam, cursed the non-existant almighty, and happily discovered that my next dentist appointment is on Monday. Healthwise, however, the big news will come tomorrow. I see my urologist at 11:45 am to discuss the possible necessity of an orchiectomy. An orchiectomy is when a testicle is removed for whatever reason; cancer, cryptorchidism, personality conflict, or some other such problem. One of my nuts was removed a couple of years ago because it was non-functional and at risk for developing cancer. My one remaining nut is 1/5 the size is should be, and is also non-functional. And since it is causing me constant low-level pain, it probably will have to go. But I'm really hoping that surgery won't be necessary.
Tomorrow afternoon I'll report on that, for anyone who is interested. It's not a major surgical procedure, but I'm just tired of hospitals and medications and doctors. Over the last five years I've had one orchiectomy, gastric bypass, pneumonia, 18 stitches on two cuts, 17 electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments, two hospitalizations due to seizures and at least 70 psychiatrist and/or therapy sessions. On one hand, I'm very thankful for having access to some of the best health care in the world. But at 34 I've had a lot of medical experience. I don't believe in god, but I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining. Things can always get a LOT worse. Like that guy who had his pecker cut off by his girlfriend, or Schiavo. Remember her? Not only was she a vegetable, but Bill Frist used her for political gain and even keeps a picture of her in his office to this day. One minute you're walking down the street, the next you have a stroke or get hit by a car and you're a cucumber with lips.
And happy news does exist. I risked humiliation and asked a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman out on a date and she said, "That sounds good." So this coming Saturday night will find me enjoying the company of "L." And for her, I share this poem, a favorite of mine:
Entry April 28 - W. Benton
Because hate is legislated...written into the primer and the testament, show into our blood and brains like vaccine or vitamins
Because our day is of time, of hours-and the clock-hand turns, closes the circle upon us: and black timeless night sucks us in like quicksand, receives us totally-without a raincheck or a parachute, a key to heaven or the last long look
I need love more than ever now...I need your love, I need love more than hope or money, wisdom or a drink
Because slow negative death withers the world-and only yes can turn the tide
Because love has your face and body...and your hands are tender and your mouth is sweet-and God had made no other eyes like yours.
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