It's been a few days since I last posted, and that naturally has to do with my father's surgery. My brother was good enough to take some time off from work, and that made the stress and fear easier to shoulder. He's back to work now, though, and I'm in a strange place mentally and emotionally. My flat near Boston isn't that large, but it feels like an enormous mansion now that it's just me and the cats. Fluffy seems a bit depressed, and Panther is definitely confused. He has been seeking as much attention as he can get, and when he doesn't get it he gets angry. Toulouse has always been my familiar, so as long as I'm around he's relatively happy. And then there is Impy, my darling little girl. Last night she slept on my lap for a record length of time, almost an hour. Methinks they feel the void left by my father. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, but cats are wise creatures and they know that something is up.
As for me, I'm spending my time watching television or cleaning and getting ready for the move. I feel a bit numb, but I'm not suicidal or all that depressed. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen, and I suppose that's true. I'm waiting for my father's medical trial to come to an end, one way or the other. The news has been very good, so at this point I'm hopeful that he will be home within a week. The most disconcerting part of his surgery has been the delusions. On Friday, he was hysterically afraid that the nurses were trying to kill him, and that my brother and I were in terrible danger. It was very disturbing. Since then, he has been getting better, but he still is caught in a sort of dream-world. One of the attending physicians told me that there is no evidence of a stroke or any brain damage, and that these hallucinations are normal and will go away. Good news, that.
More later...thanks for the letters of concern everyone.
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