I'm so fucking tired of the desktop background on my computer. It's a picture of the Eiffel Tower, and it's very classy and interesting, but I need to find something else. Nobody will see it, because I live a life of quiet desperation, but evenso. I'm not sure if I want to go with something quirky and random, like an orangutan in a tuxedo, or perhaps just a tasteful, "arty" picture of a naked chick. Or maybe a picture of a big, yellow chick...I don't know. I'll be sure to post my decision.
Ever been down to Lincoln Park down in Rhode Island? It's essentially a warehouse full of old people smoking and playing slot machines. There are no table games, shows, glamorous people or hotel rooms. Just bad food and low-return gambling. At best, a high-roller can get a hot dog and a Screwdriver "comped" by the casino. It's pretty bleak. Well, it just opened up a whole new section, doubling it's size to 5,000 slot machines. They also changed their name to, "Twin Rivers." Probably meant to represent the river of money flowing out of your pocket, and the river next to it that you'll feel strongly compelled to put a hole in. If for whatever reason you decide to go, be sure to bring a portable oxygen tank, a walker or wheelchair, and a pack of Camels...you'll fit right in.
It's worth mentioning that one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen (my brother, too) was at what is now Twin Rivers. A fat, poorly-dressed, homely person was really upset because she couldn't get a cash advance off her credit card at the ATM. She kept trying over and over and over again. Actually, my memory may be off a bit. That could have happened on the Horizon's Edge casino boat out of Lynn, Massachusetts. In case you're not familiar, they actually fill a boat full of old people, slot machines and table games and then rush out to international waters so people can gamble out upon the lawless sea. In a way, it's not as bad as Twin Rivers, because you can stare at the ocean when you piss your money away, vainly looking for a whale or...your soul. On the other hand, the ocean generally compells people to reflect upon their lives and thoughtfully consider the meaning of it all. That's not something you want to do after dropping $80 on a nickel slot called, Pirate's Booty.
Enough of that.
2 comments:
The saddest thing I've ever seen in a casino was at Foxwoods, at the bingo game. The bingo is a frenetic thing, if you're playing on paper. However, they have video bingo, where you just sit there and watch the screen. You don't mark your cards, you don't yell bingo. The computer does all that for you. You just sit there, watching the screen that has been adorned with your 15 prayer cards, pictures of grandchildren, and lucky tokens, while you alternatively take hits of your Basic Lo Tar 500s and your oxygen tank, fiddling with the brake on your wheelchair.
People like this should not exist.
I don't mind that they exist, I just want to give them a wide berth. That Bingo sounds like Keno. I'm not averse to laying the occassional bet, but these places are so depressing. I've seen little old ladies playing two or three slot machines at once. And if you try to move in on one, it gets really ugly.
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