Smee for President

I screwed in one of those new fangled, high falootin' light bulbs in the bathroom. It takes exactly 1 second for it to light after I hit the switch, which is dangerous. In the dead of night I float into the bathroom and turn on the switch, but I'm not used to waiting that second. I blindly, and with misplaced confidence, sail right on in. One of these days I'm going to trip over the toilet or the scale in the pitch blackness and fall out the window. They'll find me in my nightshirt on the street. On the street! All because I'm trying to save the whales with a $5 lightbulb.

The picture there on the right is from Disney's Peter Pan. A sailor, Smee, I think, is shaving a duck's ass for reasons I don't recall and are unclear to me. The duck looks pleased, but it must hurt like hell to have one's ass shaved with a straight edge razor. Not a duck, maybe a seagull...I don't know.

I'm a real intellectual, writing about shaving a bird's ass.