Thursday, May 22, 2008

Smokin' The World

It's 10:36 in the morning here in Metro Boston, looks cloudy outside and feels and smells smoky in here. My father lives with my girlfriend and I, and he loves to smoke. Eventually, he'll smoke me, the cats, the snake, the dog and Linda. From there, he'll smoke the rug, the kitchen tile, the mailman, and on and on. Undeniably, stranger things have happened.

It would be nice if I could remember my mailman's name, but for all I know he's a fucking robot. Folksy affability is not my atout. Although I have given him a Christmas card almost every year, with something like $5 in it. I don't think you can get away with giving anyone less than $5 unless time travel is involved. And just for the record, I know that it's a mailman and not a mail-person because I have proof. For reasons that are unclear to everyone in the neighborhood, he pushes the mail through the slot with his cock.

Yesterday I made a sad attempt at escaping depression via sleep by taking lorazepam. I hate when it comes to that, but I'd rather knock myself out than be a walking uber-bummer to those in my life.

I'm a walking uber-bummer.

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is running an advertising campaign that features a freakish beast out of Greek mythology; a combined donkey and elephant. The campaign is about ending "gridlock" and encouraging compromise between the Republicans and Democrats. This annoys me more than it should. It's such populist bullshit. The assumption that the truth is always in the middle is a commonly made one, and one that will lead us to a very bad place. Specifically, the dumpster behind the Denny's near Caribou, Maine. If not there, somewhere equally unpleasant.

I hate to break it to the peons, but sometimes (even frequently) the best approach is advocated by those firmly in the political margins. How do you compromise on abortion, for example, if one side believes that life begins at conception? Or with people who want to teach "Intelligent Design" in the public schools? You can't. Sometimes the problem is fanaticism. More often, however, it's about the nature of the issue at hand. Surely you know what I'm talking about. You don't? You poor boob. It must be tough being you.

The idea sounds simply compromise on every issue. But it's just not possible, friends and neighbors. Beyond that, I'm not sure how much "compromise" and agreement I want in a country of only two political parties. If they get together too much, we'll essentially have ONE party, and that way lies disaster. When I vote for a representative of any kind, I want him or her to consider the philosophical disposition and rhetoric that won the election. Consider the rhetoric!
I know first-hand how politics can lead to destruction. My beloved Socialist Party USA is currently undergoing a split for reasons so convoluted and obscure that I'm not even going to try a summary. My poor girlfriend has heard me go on and on about it, especially since I briefly took the side that led the faction.

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