Sermon on the Brokeback Mount

If you're of a mind to, check out the website of an organization dedicated to disseminating lies about homosexuality on behalf of a righteous, ignorant, mentally-ill god. Naturally, they are called Americans for Truth about Homosexuality. I mention them and their nonsense because I'm right there on the front page. Why? Well, in the interest of Hell-Raising I signed up to receive emails from ATH, so that I may better understand the approach of poorly-educated, mean-spirited homophobes. These people don't upset me...their rhetoric is too silly to be taken seriously. They are a parody of themselves.

It's fucking delightful.

The first thing I learned is that these homophobes bend the truth over and really ram it home with lies, enough to make you wince. They really make the truth shake and quiver as they thrust their pulsating lies twixt protective cheeks. If you read their emails, you'll find yourself begging for lubricant. And that bag of Lay's potato chips you had last night won't provide nearly enough. After they drop their load of mendacity at the small of your back you'll be happy it's over. But you'll never quite be the same.

What?

Anyway, these fucknuts think that pedophilia and homosexuality are the same thing. So I tried to explain to them that they are not. A study or two was even provided showing that homosexuals are actually far less likely to engage in pedophilia, which appears to be a pathology that travels mostly with heterosexuality. They didn't respond, and the lies went on. They're fanatics, after all.

About a month later, I got another email, then another. So I took a different approach. I quoted from the Sermon on the Mount and I wrote, "God is love" in a short email response. That got their attention. "You need to be exposed to the Gospels," they wrote back.

This annoyed me, because as a Socialist and (I hope) a compassionate human being, the Sermon on the Mount is the most touching and inspirational part of the New Testament. Clearly, Jesus was gay. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth" is something a fag would say. It's beautiful. Far superior to the macho head games of the Old Testament.

But ATH did not want to hear that. So we bickered back and forth. You can see where this is going. I got nasty and moved on...told 'em off, is what I did.

Now I find out that ATH is using this as an example of "hate speech" against Christians as they try to raise money for their backwards cause. And I quote...

The consistently eloquent Darren W. Lyle of Boston wrote us two days before Christmas with this message:

[F–k] you all.

This really made my day, for a couple of reasons. One, they mention that I wrote "two days before Christmas" like it was timed to insult Christians (who strangely like to quote from the Old Testament all the time). They also use my name and what they think is my hometown. As if they are giving me attention that I don't want. But in one of my emails I gave them my name and said that I'm proud to stand against them. It's like Nixon's "Enemies List." Everyone on it was and is proud about being on it.

As an aside, it seems that the two days before Christmas were quite active for me. Apparently, I had a bottle of sake and some weed and then spent Christmas eve writing to countless people. It was like the Airing of Grievances at Festivus. A friend got told off, I got kicked out of a website, and mysterious responses to things I never knew I wrote appeared several days later. My pen is gone, too, and for awhile my right nipple was killing me.

What I learned is that sake is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation.

Anyway, take a moment to write ATH and let them know what you think of them! Be sure to be eloquent.

Before I curl up in the closet and mutter in Esperanto to myself, I want to take a second to show my support for a fellow blogger, Apocalypse Cow, who understands that Psycho is NOT film noir. It ain't, and he's right. From now on, I'm not going to argue with you rubes who think it is. You'll get a link to his blog instead.

Movie arguments bother me more than anything political or social. Let me also say that Angelina Jolie was given a gift when she was nominated for "The Changeling." And Gran Torino got screwed. While I'm at it, Woody Allen is a genius with an amazing body of work, but he's an asshole who is on automatic pilot right now. Methinks he's basically making movies now so he can try and fuck young actresses like Scarlett Johansen. That's fine, but don't expect me to pay $10 to watch the spectacle.