CanadaMerge Arrives!

Today I finally launched an idea that I think has the potential to help make the world a better place. Simply put, my organization, CanadaMerge, seeks to put an end to the American experiment, admit a mistake (the Revolutionary War), and then put us all on the path to a better world. Down below is a portion of my press release, which was read by Marty Popheur (our vice-secretary) on the steps of the Old State House in Boston earlier today.

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Next month, I'm hoping to launch a political party that will have a platform based on the principles of CanadaMerge. We will run left-wing candidates who are allied behind the notion that ultimately the US needs to be abandoned in favor of a merge with Canada. More on that in a couple of months.

Anyway, here is Marty's speech, written by me:

The American Revolution was a mistake. The United States should have remained as a colony of the United Kingdom. The US Constitution essentially creates an American king via all the powers that are handed to the president. Particularly as Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces. The way that position has evolved over the years, into the nuclear age and through the Cold War, is not good for the world. So let's turn back the clock and pretend the American Revolution never happened and merge with our Canadian brothers and sisters.

All hail the Queen!

And let's face it, the US seems to be unable to rule itself. There is no national health care system, industry is under-regulated, guns are easy to get, and we seem to have a leadership addicted to war. In contrast, Canada has a far superior health care system that is universally available to all citizens. And handguns are difficult to get, labor and environmental regulations have teeth, and when was the last time Canada declared war on anyone? Canadians served honorably in World War II, even before the US formally entered the war. But since then I'm pretty sure they haven't initiated anything more than a hockey fight. My grandmother moved down to the Boston area from Prince Edward Island many years ago. If I could, I'd return to Canada myself. But I'm pretty sure it would be good for all of us to just put the USA in her grave and do the right thing.

I say, "No more America and God Save the Queen!"