We've hit the 250th post here on Zeitgeist Expatriate, which may or may not be a good thing. It's a thing, though, and represents an arbitrary milestone. And there's nothing more exciting than celebrating an arbitrary milestone! So I'm going to have fun by listing some things that have been on my mind lately. They are numbered, but in no particular order. Enjoy!1. What the hell does "Get-R-Done" mean?
2. I get some sort of strange enjoyment out of scratching my newly acquired mosquito bites.
3. Wyatt Earp is an under-rated movie.
4. The 28% of people who still support Bush should shave my crotch and be fired out of a cannon.
5. My legs are too short for my body.
6. Older female celebrities need to stop trying to talk sense to Lindsay Lohan...let the train wreck happen.
7. Hugo Chavez needs to stop fucking with the press...it's badly hurting a very important revolution.
8. I tried to give someone "the finger" yesterday while driving, and almost broke my hand because the window was down.
9. We should all really be vegetarians.
10. Too many movies are made for teenagers, and not enough for the rest of us. The older I get, the more annoying it gets. Teens are generally pretty stupid, which has always been true. We shouldn't make $150 million movies that appeal to them. Their aesthetic pallete is unsophisticated. How else could you explain the success of Hostel and Turistas? Both movies have ample teen ass and lots of gore, but nothing else. If it's hot chicks and gore I want, I can watch Fox News.
11. I estimate that my cats have almost killed me at least 100 times, usually by trying to trip me as I walk down the stairs in the morning. I don't know why they want me dead.
12. I use humor to keep most people at a distance, because that's where I want most people.
13. I'm a drug addict.
14. It's the first of the month, but I'm already flat broke.
15. Cartoon Network's "Li'l Bush" is both 6 years too late and not funny enough.
This could go on and on into the afternoon. I'll try to write something of substance, perhaps about Venezuela, later today. In my online discussion groups, there's been a lot of talk about Objectivism and Ayn Rand. I'm interested in writing about that, but also feel strangely compelled not to. Every so often, I run into some guy (it's NEVER a woman) in his twenties who has fallen in love with Ayn Rand. They then feel the need to test drive their new I'm-a-dick-and-it's-ok philosophy out on me. Because they know I'm a secular humanist and socialist. The best approach, however, is just to wait it out. Eventually they'll figure out that they're never going to get laid talking like that.
2 comments:
From Linda,
Awesome post today.. Laughed my arse off.
1. What the hell does "Get-R-Done" mean?
It means "I'm a redneck with almost as many teeth as brain cells".
2. I get some sort of strange enjoyment out of scratching my newly acquired mosquito bites.
I think everyone does. Its got something to do with histamines or somesuch.
3. Wyatt Earp is an under-rated movie.
Okay, how can any movie made during Costner's full blown stardom be under-rated? Surely it must be underrated for the writing or directing, not the acting. Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Bill Pullman, Mark Harmon, Michael Madsen, Tom Sizemore? Yeesh. Problematic.
4. The 28% of people who still support Bush should shave my crotch and be fired out of a cannon.
I'm not sure of the correlation between the two. Thats like saying "Eat sand and take a long walk off a short pier."
5. My legs are too short for my body.
Think of it positively, you have less distance to fall when your cats trip you.
6. Older female celebrities need to stop trying to talk sense to Lindsay Lohan...let the train wreck happen.
Why aren't more people bothered that she's really not getting in trouble for DWI, underage drinking, leaving an accident, and posession of cocaine? I could give a spaghetti-o meatball if she becomes a train wreck, I just want one celeb to actually suffer like any other human being. Just once.
7. Hugo Chavez needs to stop fucking with the press...it's badly hurting a very important revolution.
Saw that on the news the other day. Its too easy to spin in an anti-Chavez manner by Fox News et al.
8. I tried to give someone "the finger" yesterday while driving, and almost broke my hand because the window was down.
See, I would have stopped, turned around, followed the person, caught up to them, passed them, and made sure I gave them the finger properly. I'm not sure if that makes me homicidal or thorough.
9. We should all really be vegetarians.
But meat tastes so good. More proof that there is no god.
10. Too many movies are made for teenagers, and not enough for the rest of us. The older I get, the more annoying it gets. Teens are generally pretty stupid, which has always been true. We shouldn't make $150 million movies that appeal to them. Their aesthetic pallete is unsophisticated. How else could you explain the success of Hostel and Turistas? Both movies have ample teen ass and lots of gore, but nothing else. If it's hot chicks and gore I want, I can watch Fox News.
They honestly could make 5 $30 million movies and teens wouldn't notice the difference.
11. I estimate that my cats have almost killed me at least 100 times, usually by trying to trip me as I walk down the stairs in the morning. I don't know why they want me dead.
Because cats are pricks, and think they're better than everyone.
12. I use humor to keep most people at a distance, because that's where I want most people.
Yet how many women fell for your sense of humor?
13. I'm a drug addict.
Just like 80% of America.
14. It's the first of the month, but I'm already flat broke.
Just like 80% of America.
15. Cartoon Network's "Li'l Bush" is both 6 years too late and not funny enough.
Just like 80% of their shows.
Wish I could have come up with something more witty for that last one.
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